#3 David Vatz
Nickname: Davey, Tit, L.M.L. (Little Mount Lebo guy), Bratz, Vag, Vas “Oline”, Douchebag, Flower
E-mail: davidvatz AT gmail.com
-Written by Eddie Peters
He’s jewish and italian, so cover your ears tightly when he speaks. Extended periods of listening may cause you to suffer an eardrum infection known as “listening to vatz’s crazy as shit ideas.” Let me tell you, you have no idea how to deal with women until you’ve been locked in a car for 6 hours straight with vatz and a large nordic man who’s arm hair looks like a delicious white cheddar cheese flavoring powder. For example, according to vatz, there’s a direct correlation between (1) how gay your facebook profile is and (2) success with damin (or hookin up with broads, for those less educated).
Ever listen to kelly clarkson? Cuz this guy has.
This guy is also always a beacon of kindness on the field. We had to stop him from writing cheers for the other teams at nationals. He is the sole cause for why we won the spirit award in 2005, a trophy he could not be more proud of.
One more year for this clown. Better start countin the days, college ultimate.
He also plays for the club team here if Pittsburgh called RUN, if you’ve ever heard of them…
He also has a friend who used to run cross country for CMU, his name is Darren Shultz, if you’ve ever heard of him…
Ever hear about the one time Dave was running sooo damn fast that when he stopped, he ripped right through his cleats…
Dave is the most dominant ex-juniors ultimate player who’s almost 5’7″ to ever play this game. He’s faster than you, smarter than you, jumps higher than you, and wears a backwards hat better than you. He embodies Spirit of the Game in every aspect of his life and every fiber in his body. He never purposefully fouls and always conducts himself in the most proper of manners. Dave capped off his domineering juniors ultimate career by leading his Mount Lebo high school ultimate team to a near-last place finish at nationals and he was almost selected onto the US National Junior Worlds Team, only to be ousted for a spot by Pittsburgh’s own Tommy Hendrickson. When finished with his illustrious juniors career, Dave then went on to grace the likes of RUN with his nasty flick hucks and his huge ups. He lead RUN to it’s first ever Sectionals win over Pike (and by lead we mean he played maybe a point or two). He now owns the entire starting lineup of En Sabah Nur with his pure, unbridled athleticism and speed (did we mention that he’s really fast – so fast that he once busted out of his shoes because he was running so fast). All of us here at Pitt are excited to see him play this season and to watch him improve his skill set – if that’s even possible. Dave is sweet. I mean really sweet. Go do something good.
-Player profile done by Josh Suskin, Wes Shonk, Fraggle, Sean McComb, Andrew Willment, Nick Kaczmarek
2005 Metro East Freshman of the Year
Since graduating in 2008 with a major in Marketing and minor in Economics, Vatz works in Pittsburgh at the Bank of New York Mellon.
-Written by Eddie Peters